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October 26, 2015

Grizzled Coach

Star Player

Bench Player

City, State (pendng stadium deal)

GRIZZLED COACH: Before we open it up for questions let me just say, the coaches coached, the players played and there are a lot of repressed emotions present on stage right now.

Q. Star Player were there any moments in the game?
STAR PLAYER: There were a lot of moments, some good, some bad. Man, I'm just so proud of these guys. I mean each and every one of them put in a mathematically impossible amount of effort tonight. I mean hey, like this guy, I mean he really stepped it up tonight. Now we finally understand that inside joke about how short he is. (laughter)

Q. How did injuries and referees affect the outcome?
GRIZZLED COACH: Those game-changing incidents in no way changed the game.

Q. Sad Reporter sports section local paper. So, a lot of ups lot of downs in this game and in my stomach because I live through this team. Can you walk me through how I’m supposed to be feeling right now?
STAR PLAYER: This season is a lot like a metaphor that I like to use. You know, it only makes sense sometimes. You know, because metaphors can change. Like similes.

Q. Attractive Female Sideline Reporter major sports network. Grizzled Coach, we saw some very unusual defensive stats and a very specific record set that only someone with a deep understanding of the game and its history can appreciate. So my question is, will you show me the same respect that you give my male colleagues?
GRIZZLED COACH: As you can see I'm definitely looking you directly in the eyes right now, even as I prepare to make a reputation solidifying quip. Because listen, your question implies that I have respect for anyone in this room and we all know that just isn't true. (laughter)

Q. Young Male Blogger sports hits dot com. Great game you guys fought hard. Can I get a quote to take out of context?
STAR PLAYER: You know I can’t do that man. My number one priority is to stay out of the news.

Q. So you're confirming your number one priority isn't the team? And send that… thanks I owe you one.
MODERATOR: OK we have the contract for one more question.

REPORTERS: [Crosstalk] Compare teams. Talk about momentum. Performance enhancers. Coach, coach, coach!

Q. When the game was on the line you made a decision that didn't pan out. Obviously. Why didn't you decide to do the other thing that would have panned out 100 percent? I mean that's what I would have done. The thing that would've worked. The thing that you didn't do.
GRIZZLED COACH: I'm sorry who are you?

Q. Obnoxious reporter some East Coast paper.
GRIZZLED COACH: Look, I've been at this a long time you can’t always make the perfect decision. Sometimes you do things you regret. Like lose your temper at a press conference after a dumb question and have an outburst that gets played over and over again for years. And that's how you’re remembered? Huh? That's how you’re remembered?! That's how you’re remembered?! That one, angry, outburst at a press conference after a dumb question?!! That's how you’re remembered?!!!

Published on Oct 26, 2015 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXAW2qd65nA

Twitter: https://twitter.com/kickerofficial

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Weird Al Yankovic, Jason Small, Kirk Johnson, Burnie Burns, Gavin Free, Brian Gaar, Kris Betts, John Ramsey, Byron Brown, & Ryan Darbonne


Written & Directed by John Ramsey and David Ward

Produced by Russell Groves, John Ramsey, and David Ward

Edited by David Ward

The Kicker Producer: Brendan McMorrow

FastScripts Transcript by ASAP Sports

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